There is a wide range of what child therapy can look like, but parents are always involved. Developmental stage and presenting challenges (as well as the child’s strengths) will dictate cadence and treatment approach, but the foundational tenet is: Children process their worlds through play and their behaviors are the language for their feelings, which is not a choice but part of the developmental process. While I conduct sessions with children—individually or dyadically with a parent—entering through the child’s play-scape or art is the most direct route to their felt experience and challenges. It all comes out in play, which is why bottom-up approaches are indicated with kids. Treatment goals are largely addressed in parent sessions, with parent homework, or obliquely through play activities with the child in session.

My approach is based on attachment theory and developmental psychology. Some of the underlying tenets of my approach are:

1) Your child is doing the best they can and is not being mean, manipulative, depressed, or hyperactive on purpose. It is our job to figure out what they are trying to tell us underneath their behavior.

2) The way you were raised has an influence on your parenting style today.

3) Your job as a parent is to first be present and understand your child. Our goal is to make your child feel deeply heard and understood by their parent first. Problem-solving behavior issues will come after this first task is accomplished.

Adapted with permission from “What to Expect from Family Therapy from an Attachment Perspective” by Dafna Lender LCSW, creator of Integrative Attachment Family Therapy (IAFT).